Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable because no matter how legitimate my illness, I always sense my boss thinks I am lying.
On one occasion, I had a valid reason but lied anyway because the truth was too humiliating to reveal.
I simply mentioned that I had sustained a head injury and I hoped I would feel up to coming in the next day. By then, I could think up a doozy to explain the bandage on my crown.
In this case, the truth hurt. I mean it really hurt in the place men feel the most pain. The accident occurred mainly because I conceded to my wife's wishes to adopt a cute little kitty.
As the daily routine prescribes, I was taking my shower after breakfast when I heard my wife, Deb, call out to me from the kitchen.
"Ed!" she hearkened , "The garbage disposal is dead. Come reset it."
"You know where the button is." I protested through the shower (pitter-patter). "Reset it yourself!"
"I am scared!" She pleaded. "What if it starts going and sucks me in?"
. . .Pause. . . . .
"C'mon, it'll only take a second."
No logical assurance about how a disposal can't start itself will calm the fears of a person who suffers from "Big-ol-scary-machinephobia," a condition brought on by watching too many Stephen King movies.
It is futile to argue or explain, kind of like telling Lloyd Bentsen Americans are over-taxed. And if a poltergeist did, in fact, possess the disposal, and she was ground into ground, I'd have to live with that the rest of my life.
So out I came, dripping wet and buck naked, hoping to make a statement about how her cowardly behavior was not without consequence but it was I who would suffer.
I crouched down and stuck my head under the sink to find the button. It is the last action I remember performing. It struck without warning, without respect to my circumstances.
Nay, it wasn't a hexed disposal, drawing me into its gnashing metal teeth. It was our new kitty, clawing playfully at the dangling objects she spied between my legs. She ("Buttons" aka "the Grater") had been poised around the corner and stalked me as I took the bait under the sink. At precisely the second I was most vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I unwittingly offered and snagged them with her needle-like claws.
Now when men feel pain or even sense danger anywhere close to their masculine region, they lose all rational thought to control orderly bodily movements.
Instinctively, their nerves compel the body to contort inwardly, while rising upwardly at a violent rate of speed. Not even a well trained monk could calmly stand with his groin supporting the full weight of a kitten and rectify the situation in a step-by-step procedure.
Wild animals are sometimes faced with a "fight or flight" syndrome; men, in this predicament, choose only the "flight" option.
Fleeing straight up, I knew at that moment how a cat feels when it is alarmed. It was a dismal irony. But, whereas cats seek great heights to escape, I never made it that far. The sink and cabinet bluntly impeded my ascent; the impact knocked me out cold.
When I awoke, my wife and the paramedics stood over me. Having been fully briefed by my wife, the paramedics snorted as they tried to conduct their work while suppressing their hysterical laughter.
My wife told me I should be flattered.
At the office, colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of me. I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to talk. "What's the matter, cat got your tongue?"
If they had only known.
found in my e-mail of course
1) Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding
a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's
mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right
hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth
and swallow.
2) Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left
arm and repeat process.
3) Retrieve cat from bedroom and throw soggy pill away.
4) Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear
paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of
mouth with right fore-finger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
5) Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call
spouse from garden.
6) Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees. Hold front and
rear paws firmly. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold
head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop
pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
7) Retrieve cat from curtain rail. Get another pill from foil wrap. Make
note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered
Doulton figures from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
8) Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to stretch out flat on top of
cat with head just visible from below arm-pit. Put pill in end of
drinking straw. Force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking
straw.
9) Check label to make sure pill is not harmful to humans. Drink glass
of water to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and
remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
10) Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in
cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth
open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
11) Fetch screwdriver from garage and put door back on hinges. Apply
cold compress to cheek and check records for date of your last tetanus
shot. Throw tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
12) Ring fire brigade to retrieve cat from tree across the road.
Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid
cat. Take last pill from foil-wrap.
13) Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly
to leg of dining table. Find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed, force
cat's mouth open with small spanner. Push pill into mouth followed by
large piece of filet steak. Hold head vertically and pour pint of water
down throat to wash pill down.
14) Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room. Sit quietly while
doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right
eye. Stop by the furniture store on way home to order new table.
15) Arrange for SPCA to find a new home for cat and ring local pet shop
to see if they have any hamsters.
Sent to me by ITSme thanks friend
Cat Diary
For cat lovers everywhere...
and those of you who don't have a cat
and wonder why.
DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling
objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry
cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the
mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet
while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the
stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once
again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair . . . must try this
on their bed.
DAY 762 - Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep
depriving, incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night.
DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in
attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike
fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good
little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan . . . . . .
DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are.
For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning
foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a
liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my
teeth.
DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was
placed in solitary throughout the event. More importantly I overheard that
my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is
and how to use it to my advantage.
DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe
snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to
return. He is obviously a half-wit. The Bird on the other hand has got to
be an informant. He has mastered their frightful tongue (something akin to
mole speak) and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my
every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is
assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time.
From: Virginia Stockton (Jin)
10 Signs Your Cat Has Learned
Your Internet Password
E-mail flames from some guy named "Fluffy."
Traces of kitty litter are on your keyboard.
You find you've subscribed to strange newsgroups like alt.recreational.catnip.
Your web browser has a new home page at http://www.feline.com/.
Your mouse has teeth marks in it, and a strange aroma of tuna.
Hate mail messages to Apple Computer Corp. about their release of "CyberDog."
Your new ergonomic keyboard has a strange territorial scent to it.
You keep finding new software around your house like "CatinTax" and "WarCat II."
On IRC you're known as the IronMouser.
You find little kitty carpal-tunnel braces near the scratching
post.
~~ Author unknown ~~
A Link to someone else that loves cats
Cat Commandments
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Thanks Jin for this new addition to my cats page
Law Of The Cat
1****Law of Cat Inertia
A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon
by some outside force - such as the opening of cat food, or a
nearby scurrying mouse.
2****Law of Cat Motion
A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really
good reason to change direction.
3****Law of Cat Magnetism
All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in
direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric.
4****Law of Cat Thermodynamics
Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case
of a cat, in which case all heat flows to the cat.
5****Law of Cat Stretching
A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length
of the nap just taken.
6****Law of Cat Sleeping
All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a
position as uncomfortable for the people involved as is
possible for the cat.
7****Law of Cat Elongation
A cat can make her body long enough to reach just about any
counter top that has anything remotely interesting on it.
8****Law of Cat Acceleration
A cat will accelerate at a constant rate, until he gets good
and ready to stop.
9****Law of Dinner Table Attendance
Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served.
10****Law of Rug Configuration
No rug may remain in its naturally flat state for very long.
11****Law of Obedience Resistance
A cat's resistance varies in proportion to a human's
desire for her to do something.
12****First Law of Energy Conservation
Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed
and will, therefore, use as little energy as possible.
13****Second Law of Energy Conservation
Cats also know that energy can only be stored by a lot of
napping.
14****Law of Refrigerator Observation
If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will
come along and take out something good to eat.
15****Law of Electric Blanket Attraction
Turn on an electric blanket and a cat will jump into bed at
the speed of light.
16****Law of Random Comfort Seeking
A cat will always seek, and usually take over, the most
comfortable spot in any given room.
17****Law of Bag / Box Occupancy
All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within
the earliest possible nanosecond.
18****Law of Cat Embarrassment
A cat's irritation rises in direct proportion to her
embarrassment times the amount of human laughter.
19****Law of Milk Consumption
A cat will drink his weight in milk, squared, just to show
you he can.
20****Law of Furniture Replacement
A cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional
to the cost of the furniture.
21****Law of Cat Landing
A cat will always land in the softest place possible.
22****Law of Fluid Displacement
A cat immersed in milk will displace her own volume, minus
the amount of milk consumed.
23****Law of Cat Disinterest
A cat's interest level will vary in inverse proportion to
the amount of effort a human expends in trying to interest
him.
24****Law of Pill Rejection
Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach
escape velocity.
25****Law of Cat Composition
A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't
Matter.
This was sent to me by Sweet Old Bob
What is a cat...?
1. Cats do what they want, when they want.
2. They rarely listen to you.
3. They're totally unpredictable.
4. They whine when they are not happy.
5. When you want to play they want to be left alone.
6. When you want to be alone, they want to play.
7. They expect you to cater to their every whim.
8. They're moody.
9. They leave their hair everywhere.
10. They drive you nuts.
Conclusion:
Cats are little, tiny women in cheap fur coats.
Found in my e-mail and knew it should be on this page.
CAT HUMOR
"Managing senior programmers is like herding cats."
-Dave Platt
"Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and
will piss on your computer."
-Bruce Graham
"There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast."
-Unknown
"Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have
never forgotten this."
-Anonymous
"Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a
sled through snow."
-Jeff Valdez
"In a cat's eye, all things belong to cats."
-English proverb
"As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat."
-Ellen Perry Berkeley
"One cat just leads to another."
-Ernest Hemingway
"Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later."
-Mary Bly
"Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a
good many ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from
insomnia."
-Joseph Wood Krutch
"People that hate cats,
will come back as mice in their next life."
-Faith Resnick
"There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all
owned by cats."
-Anonymous
"I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of
cats is infinitely superior."
-Hippolyte Taine
"No heaven will not ever Heaven be; unless my cats are there to
welcome me."
-Unknown
"There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music
and cats."
-Albert Schweitzer
"The cat has too much spirit to have no heart."
-Ernest Menaul
"Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God."
"Time spent with cats is never wasted."
-Colette
"Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True,
and they have many other fine qualities as well."
-Missy Dizick
"You will always be lucky if you know how to make friends with
strange cats."
-Colonial American proverb
"Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does
any harm to ask for what you want."
Joseph Wood Krutch
"I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic."
"My husband said it was him or the cat ...
I miss him sometimes."
"Cats aren't clean, they're just covered with cat spit."
From My friend DEE
Subject: Cat bathing as a martial art
Some people say cats never have to be bathed. They say cats lick
themselves clean. They say cats have a special enzyme of some sort
in their saliva that works like new, improved Wisk - dislodging the
dirt where it hides and whisking it away.
I've spent most of my life believing this folklore. Like most blind
believers, I've been able to discount all the facts to the contrary, the
kitty odors that lurk in the corners of the garage and dirt smudges that
cling to the throw rug by the fireplace. The time comes, however,
when a man must face reality: when he must look squarely in the face
of massive public sentiment to the contrary and announce: "This cat
smells like a port-a-potty on a hot day in Juarez."
When that day arrives at your house, as it has in mine, I have some advice
you might consider as you place your feline friend under your arm and head
for the bathtub:
Know that although the cat has the advantage of quickness and lack of
concern for human life, you have the advantage of strength.
Capitalize on that advantage by selecting the battlefield. Don't try to
bathe
him in an
open area where he can force you to chase him.
Pick a very small bathroom. If your bathroom is more than four feet
square, I recommend that you get in the tub with the cat and close the
sliding-glass doors as if you were about to take a shower. (A simple shower
curtain will not do. A berserk cat can shred a three-ply rubber shower
curtain quicker
than a politician can shift positions.)
Know that a cat has claws and will not hesitate to remove all the skin from
your body. Your advantage here is that you are smart and know how to
dress to protect yourself. I recommend canvas overalls tucked into
high-top construction boots, a pair of steel-mesh gloves, an army
helmet, a hockey
face mask, and a long-sleeved flak jacket.
Prepare everything in advance. (There is no time to go out for a towel
when you have a cat digging a hole in your flak jacket.) Draw the water.
Make sure the bottle of kitty shampoo is inside the glass enclosure.
Make sure the towel can be reached, even if you are lying on your back
in the water.
Use the element of surprise. Pick up your cat nonchalantly, as if to
simply carry him to his supper dish. (Cats will not usually notice your
strange attire. They have little or no interest in fashion as a rule. If
he
does notice your garb, calmly explain that you are taking part in a
product testing experiment for J.C. Penney.)
Once you are inside the bathroom, speed is essential to survival. In
a single liquid motion, shut the bathroom door, step into the tub
enclosure, slide the glass door shut, dip the cat in the water and squirt
him
with shampoo. You have now begun one of the wildest 45 seconds of your
life.
Cats have no handles. Add the fact that he now has soapy fur, and the
problem is radically compounded. Do not expect to hold on to him for
more than two or three seconds at a time. When you have him, however, you
must remember to give him another squirt of shampoo and rub like
crazy. He'll then spring free and fall back into the water, thereby
rinsing himself off. (The national record for cats is three latherings, so
don't expect
too much.)
Next, the cat must be dried. Novice cat bathers always assume this
part will be the most difficult, for humans generally are worn out at this
point and the cat is just getting really determined. In fact, the drying is
simple compared to what you have just been through. That's because by now
the cat is semipermanently affixed to your right leg. You simply pop
the drain plug with your foot, reach for your towel and wait.
(Occasionally, however, the cat will end up clinging to the top of
your army helmet. If this happens, the best thing you can do is to shake
him
loose and to encourage him toward your leg.)
After all the water is drained from the tub, it is a simple matter to
just reach down and dry the cat. In a few days the cat will relax enough
to be removed from your leg. He will usually have nothing to say for about
three weeks and will spend a lot of time sitting with his back to you. He
might even become psychoceramic and develop the fixed stare of a plaster
figurine.
You will be tempted to assume he is angry. This isn't usually the
case. As a rule he is simply plotting ways to get through your
defenses and injure you for life the next time you decide to give him
a bath.
But at least now he smells a lot better.
From: Virginia Stockton (Jin)
HOW TO TRAIN A HUMAN BEING
By Nikita el Gato
Human beings are large, clumsy animals with extremely poor
night vision that make a lot of noise. However, they live in
weather-proof homes, and are easily trained.
CHOOSING YOUR HUMAN: Humans don't realize this, but
we choose which humans to live with, and which ones to avoid.
Avoid humans who start sneezing when we get close. They are
allergic to us. Also avoid ones that try and kick us. A good human
will bend down and reach out to scratch an ear and start saying
something stupid like "nice kitty kitty." The trick is to get
inside the human's home to see if they have a suitable
environment for one of our superior species.
GETTING CARRIED AROUND: While walking to one's destination is
preferable, it is nevertheless fun to be picked up and carried
around by a human, because this provides a much loftier view of
things. Female humans are more likely to pick you up. They
will try and scratch your belly, so arch your back and they
will reach under you. For some reason, most humans
instinctively pick us up at that point.
GETTING FED ON TIME: Humans are somewhat erratic in their
eating habits, but this must not be allowed to conflict with
our getting fed exactly on time every day. Pick a time,
usually at 5 in the morning, and insist on being fed. Vocalize
your hunger, and if necessary, wake the human up. Initially,
the human will throw you outside, thinking you've received a
call from Nature. But in a week or two they will catch on and
get the food out on time.
GETTING THE RIGHT FOOD: Unfortunately modern humans are inept
at hunting, thus they purchase all their food. Generally, they
buy things in cans, bags or boxes to feed us. They should eat
this stuff. As long as you have an adequate supply of
naturally obtained food (i.e. tasty little mice) the
appropriate training regime is to walk up to the bowl of this
awful processed food, sniff at it, walk around the bowl a few
times, and then decamp to your favorite perch for a nice little
nap. A few days of this, and the human begins to feel guilty
about you starving. Eventually they will produce something
moderately edible. If, by chance, something really good turns
up, make sure you let the human know this is preferred to the
dry crunchy stuff.
NAPPING SITES: Human dwellings are just full of nice little
places to nap, such as window sills, the tops of dressers,
inside closets, under couches, whatever. Many of these places,
however, will initially be places the human thinks they have
control over. You must disabuse them of this territoriality as
soon as possible. Typically, if the human finds you in a place
they think is theirs, they will grab you and toss you. An
exciting moment of flying through the air. Go back. After a
while the human will mutter "stupid kitty," and leave you
alone.
OTHER CATS: Some humans are excessively fond of our
companionship, and thus attempt to bring more than one of us
into their home. Remember, first one inside is king (or
queen). Humans don't like the sound of our displeasure being
voiced at an intruder, but they will rarely do anything about
it. It is nice to have a few companions around, provided
the human increases the food supply.
THE LITTER BOX: Most humans are fairly conscientious about
cleaning out the litter box with adequate frequency. However,
some humans will accidentally lock us in a room, or forget to
clean the litter box often enough. We all know what we do to
the human on that occasion, don't we.
GIFTS: Humans don't think they are animals, so they don't
understand gifts. Don't bother. Keep the mouse for yourself.
EXPRESSING AFFECTION: The deal is we get a free place to live
that is dry and warm, and adequate food, in exchange for once
in a while recognizing the human exists and letting it touch
us. Humans like to hear us purr, because they think that is
our way of saying we're happy. They have no idea. Don't get
too stand-off-ish as the human will not understand, and become
anxious. A calm human is a reliable human when it comes to
dinner.
NAMING: Humans immediately give us stupid little names. If
you don't like the name, act deaf. Once they pick a name you
like, then respond. If the human is really nice to you, and
understands our language, then tell them your true name.
CONCLUSION: Humans are much easier to train, then, for
example, their stupid dogs.
Copyright 1997 Hugh Holub
Signs Your Cat has a Personality Disorder...
* Couldn't muster up sufficient disdain if all nine lives depended
on it!
* You've repeatedly found him in the closed garage, hunched over the
wheel of your running Buick.
* Sits for hours in fascination while listening to Bob Dole.
* Teeth and claw marks all over your now-empty bottles of Prozac.
* No longer licks paws clean, but washes them at the sink again and
again and again...
* Continually scratches on the door to get in... the OVEN door.
* Doesn't get Garfield, but laughs like hell at Marmaduke.
* Rides in your car with its head out the window.
* She's a dues-paid, card-carrying member of the Reform Party.
* You realize one day that the urine stains on the carpet actually
form the letters N-E-E-D T-H-E-R-A-P-Y.
* Has built a shrine to Andrew Lloyd Webber entirely out of empty
"9 Lives" cans.
* Spends all day in litterbox separating the green chlorophyll
granules from the plain white ones.
* After years of NPR, Tabby is suddenly a Ditto-Puss.
* Sullen and overweight, your sunglass-wearing cat shoots the TV
with a .45 Magnum when it sees cartoon depictions of stupid or lazy
felines.
* Your stereo is missing, and in the corner you find a pawn ticket
and 2 kilos of catnip.
* Makes an attempt on "First Cat" Sock's life in a pathetic attempt
to impress Jodie Foster.
There was a cat and a cockrel walking along the road. The
cockrel was very upset and nothing his friend could say would
cheer him up.
"I know," said the cat, "if you jump over that wall,
I promise there will be a montain of grain that you can eat
until your heart's content!"
The cockrel was a little dubious, but thought 'what the hell,
it's worth a try!' And so he jumped over the wall and to his
delight the cat was right and he ate all the corn that he
could. He was now very happy, as he walked along the road with
his friend. He wanted to thank her and so said, "I know, if you
jump over the wall, there will be hundreds of mice running
around for you to catch!"
Again the cat wasn't sure, but thought it was worth a try and
so jumped over the wall, only to land in a puddle of water.
The moral of the story: Wherever there is a satisfied cock,
there will be a wet pussy!
Subject: Biblical studies
A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the
answer to "Where do pets come from?"
Adam said, "Lord, when I was in the garden, you walked with me every
day. Now I do not see you anymore. I am lonesome here and it is
difficult
for me to remember how much you love me."
And God said, "No problem! I will create a companion for you that
will be with you forever and who will be a reflection of my love for
you, so
that you will love me even when you cannot see me. Regardless of how
selfish or childish or unlovable you may be, this new companion will
accept you
as you are & will love you as I do, in spite of yourself."
And God created a new animal to be a companion for Adam. And it was a
good animal. And God was pleased. And the new animal was pleased to be
with Adam and he wagged his tail. And Adam said, "Lord, I have already
named
all the animals in the Kingdom and I cannot think of a name for this
new animal."
And God said, "No problem. Because I have created this new animal to
be a reflection of my love for you, his name will be a reflection of my
own name, and you will call him DOG."
And Dog lived with Adam and was a companion to him and loved him. And
Adam was comforted. And God was pleased. And Dog was content and wagged his tail.
After a while, it came to pass that Adam's guardian angel came to the
Lord and said, "Lord, Adam has become filled with pride. He struts and
preens like peacock and he believes he is worthy of adoration. Dog has
indeed taught him that he is loved, but perhaps too well."
And God said, "No problem! I will create for him a companion who will
be with him forever and who will see him as he is. The companion will
remind him of his limitations, so he will know that he is not always
worthy of adoration."
And God created CAT to be a companion to Adam.
And Cat would not obey Adam.
And when Adam gazed into Cat's eyes, he was reminded that he was not
the supreme being.
And Adam learned humility.
And God was pleased.
And Adam was greatly improved.
And Dog was happy.
And the cat didn't give a darn one way or the other.
Sent to me from John Wood thanks John.
THE CREATION STORY ~
AS TOLD BY THE CAT
On the first day of creation, God created the cat.
On the second day, God created man to serve the cat.
On the third, God created all the animals of the earth
to serve as potential food for the cat.
On the fourth day, God created honest toil so that man
could labor for the good of the cat.
On the fifth day, God created the sparkle ball so that
the cat might or might not play with it.
On the sixth day, God created veterinary science to
keep the cat healthy and the man broke.
On the seventh day, God tried to rest, but he had to
scoop the litterbox.
Found in my e-mail of course
Wish that cat would get out of my e-mail
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